Is There Repellant for Crazy People?

Those of you who actually attract crazy people to you, understand the nature of this request. I am a crazy magnet. Crazy and normal folk alike have always felt relatively comfortable talking to me so I find myself in a lot of conversations, generally.

The thing about crazy folks is that, as I'm sure you know, they believe they are perfectly sane. Which has always made me question my own sanity in turn. This person is standing here spewing perfect nonsense to me like it is enlightening and I am nodding my head in agreement, wondering if they realize that I think they're crazy. Of course, the question in this scenario is, well then, who's really crazy?

This morning I encountered my most recent crazy hanger-on. He lives in my neighborhood and unfortunately, has also "happened" to see me going to work as well. Now I am not afraid of his stalker-ish tendencies. One of the many attributes of being young is that despite the news and other bytes of reality, I still believe myself invincible--so if this little interest of his gets out of hand, I'm pretty sure I can take him. But it is somewhat annoying.

This crazy has gone on about his associations with famous people (usually clue number one when someone is bone-crazy) and how they have deceived him in some way. He has also talked at length about his own talent and has completely disassociated my bored and patronizing visage with his conversations.

Usually I find myself hemmed up by circumstances which trap me into a location where I cannot escape from his rants. The first time he saw me descend from the bus on my way home, I kept walking, but it was only a few blocks and I had to make sure that he didn't see where I lived. The next time, the stinger, was when he was on the same bus going to the same neighborhood. This was the occasion that I learned about more of the characters in the ensemble that make up his lunacy. I was trapped on the bus with nowhere to go. Of course I could have gotten off the bus and walked home, but well, he knew vicinity of my residence. While on the bus, he insisted I take a free T-shirt. Of course I refused such an unwanted gift, but I frankly didn't want him to make a scene so I acquiesced. The last time I saw him, I was getting a sandwich at a food trunk (which I had not done in months!) and he jabbered away while I was waiting for my sandwich to be prepared. I think he tried to pay for my sandwich, but my money was already out.

Today, he saw me as I walked down the street and struggled to keep up with me, as my pace on the way to work did not slow or waiver. This man proceeded to follow me all the way to the place of business, into the local sandwich spot and then trailed me as I walked around store gathering my breakfast. He even commented on how he was just following me around. Today he also insisted on paying for my items and got his money out first.

I will ultimately be blamed for allowing him to provide me with gifts, but frankly, there's just so much insane rambling a person can take. So here's the thing, I can deal with the crazies if there was some kind of spray I could put on when I've had enough. It's not that crazies aren't people, they just aren't people that I want to talk to. Insane-Away, or crazellant...it'll take some time to develop but I'm just as committed as any other lunatic.